Is it acceptable to solicit funds for a honeymoon rather than conventionally offering wedding gifts? Sophia Money-Coutts poses this question.
In the world of weddings, the traditional gift list has long been a staple, with guests offering household essentials to help set up a newly married couple's home. However, in recent years, a new trend has emerged: honeymoon contributions. This change in gifting culture offers a more personal and flexible approach to wedding presents, but it also raises questions about etiquette and cultural expectations.
Honeymoon contributions provide a unique opportunity for guests to feel more connected to the gift by knowing exactly where their money is going. Instead of purchasing items that may end up as duplicates or unwanted, guests can contribute to specific honeymoon experiences, such as tours or hotel stays, creating lasting memories rather than accumulating possessions.
Online honeymoon registries have made the process of gifting more straightforward, integrating wedding information, RSVP, and gift contributions in one place. Funds are typically flexible in amount, allowing guests to gift within their budget without worrying about finding or wrapping physical gifts.
However, not everyone is convinced. Some guests may prefer to give tangible gifts, especially if they want to give something physical to remember the occasion. Certain cultures or family traditions might expect traditional household gifts rather than cash or experience funds. Guests unfamiliar with online cash registries might feel less comfortable contributing electronically.
Depending on the platform, some honeymoon registries may charge fees or commissions, potentially reducing the total gift value. Without clear communication, requesting money can be perceived as impersonal or tactless if guests are unsure about etiquette.
On the other hand, the practice of converting a wedding list into cash or vouchers may be worse than openly asking for a honeymoon contribution. This approach can be seen as disingenuous, as it may lead guests to believe they are purchasing specific items only to find out later that the couple has opted for a cash or voucher alternative.
One innovative approach to the wedding list is the book wedding list, offered by London's John Sandoe bookshop in Chelsea. This service allows couples to curate a list of books, each coming with bespoke bookplates, allowing couples to know who gave which book.
Sophia Money-Coutts, a freelance features writer and author, prefers this idea over a brick or traditional wedding list. Money-Coutts, who has written for The Standard, The Sunday Telegraph, and The Times, and has six books to her name, was previously the Features Director at Tatler and appeared on the platform Frontispiece in 2022.
In a recent wedding, the couple asked guests to buy a specific type of wine (Pinot Noir) for their wedding list, while another wedding invitation asked guests to contribute to a 'brick' of the couple's new house, effectively asking for help with their deposit.
In conclusion, honeymoon contributions can offer more meaningful, flexible, and memory-focused gifting, suitable for modern couples who already have household items. Traditional gift lists may still appeal to guests who value giving tangible presents or prefer conventional etiquette. How well either approach works depends on the couple’s preferences, cultural context, guest expectations, and communication clarity.
- In contrast to the traditional gift list, honeymoon contributions enable guests to contribute to unique experiences, creating long-lasting memories rather than purchasing items that may end up as duplicates or unwanted.
- As an alternative to online honeymoon registries, some couples have opted for book wedding lists, allowing guests to gift books with personalized bookplates, offering a cultural and sentimental approach to wedding gifts.
