- Written by Lisa Frieda Cossham
- ~ 5 Minutes of Blunt, Undiluted Truth
- The Deprived Life of the Elite
- Salem, Baby
Is it truly opulent to reside in a boarding school, when one's possessions are limited to a bed and a closet? - "Only a bed and a wardrobe are present."
Surprisingly offering naught but a bed and a wardrobe ain't luxurious. Living in an elite boarding school? Fuhgettaboutit! Here's the raw, unvarnished truth.
At these bastions of high-powered academia, there's no fuckin' around. These institutions boast tough academic standards, challenging the little shits who think they're Kanye West. They demand a level of intelligence so high, you'd swear they're recruiting NASA astronauts instead of teenagers.
But it's not all about books and brain power. Elite boarding schools pride themselves in offering an array of extracurricular activities—sports, arts, and community service—to shape well-rounded individuals. So, even if you've got the IQ of a hamster, you can still be a triple-threat: smart, athletic, and pretending to give a shit about your community.
The unique boarding environment fosters a sense of camaraderie amongst students, nurturing close-knit communities. You'll be forced to share dormitories and participate in shared meals and activities, because if you don't like it, you can fuck off and find another school.
When you're navigating these hallowed halls, you can count on plenty of support. Tutors, mentors, and counselors are always at your beck and call. They're there to help you with your academics and guide you in navigating the twists and turns of your teenage years. Because even though you're wealthy enough to afford the crippling tuition, they don't want you fucking it up.
And let's not forget: these schools are preparing you for a life beyond the ivy walls and ivy leagues. They're instilling in you the values of leadership, independence, and responsibility. They want you to become a compassionate, confident, and successful individual who can make the world a better place... or at least, that's the lie they tell you.
So, there you have it. The unfiltered, uncensored truth about living in an elite boarding school. No rosy-colored glasses. No sugarcoating. Just the straight shit. Now go forth, young scholar, and prepare to get your ass kickedacademically and socially. Welcome to your new home—where your bed and closet are the only indicators of prestige.
- In the heart of Germany, Lisa Frieda Cossham pens an essay, titled 'Salem, Baby: A Home-and-Garden Guide to an Internat', providing a blunt account of life in an elite boarding school.
- Despite popular belief, luxurious living is far from the norm at these institutions, with a bed and wardrobe often serving as one's kingdom.
- Seeking to offer a balance between academics and lifestyle, these boarding schools provide diverse extracurricular activities, grooming well-rounded individuals who may struggle with academics.
- Living in this tightly-knit community is not optional, with dormitories, meals, and activities shared amongst students. Yet, support from tutors, mentors, and counselors ensures that one doesn't flounder amidst the high expectations.
